Speaking with Confidence

Happy New Year.

At the beginning of a New Year it is prudent for all of us to look back and reflect on the activities, the events, and the memories of the last twelve months.  Many people make "resolutions" for the coming 12 months.

May I respectfully suggest that for most of us, the title of this article could be a jumping off point to at least one change in the coming year as it relates to communicating more confidently and comfortably.  Listen more and speak less.  The benefits are that we learn, we become more focused, more patient, more interested in others and in turn others become more interested in us.  There is nothing more attractive that someone who really pays attention when we speak - nothing more attractive than really feeling heard and understood.

Be aware of how much you speak and how much you listen in the course of your daily conversation.  I wish you an aware, interesting and healthy 2012. 

One of my coaching clients gave me the inspiration for this article.He was struggling with how to be consistently confident in his performance & verbal presentation.

We determined through a series of questions that the most challenging part of confident communication for him, was his mind chatter.  His mind always got in the way. He was overthinking, analyzing as he spoke, attempting to stay one step ahead of the listener and always critical of himself as the silent conversation moved simultaneously through his mind as he spoke. 

I suggested that he start all activities and communication  with action - no thinking allowed.

We moved through a hypothetical day from the time he woke up.  As soon as he was awake he was charged with the challenge of immediately puting one then two feet on the floor -no thinking allowed.

To establish a new habit he had to be extreme during his test period of 3 weeks.Throughout his day when he caught himself thinking he would immediately move to an action or a breath.

The results as he described them were "awesome".  He listed more energy,(less time in his head which previously left him very mentally fatigued);   increased sales (from pushing on instead of thinking about why the last one didn't happen); more relaxed communication and connection when he was speaking( he stayed present moment instead of trying to anticipate what the listener might be thinking) and increased confidence because he was getting tangible positive results.

Because of the one additional strategy, now at his disposal, he also had a new habit. In 3 weeks no thinking had become his "fall back" natural response when he was challenged in communication.

Don't believe me on this one - conduct your own experiment.  I would appreciate feedback from you when you apply the no thinking DO IT strategy!!!